Saturday, January 16, 2010

Part 2 - Past, Present & Future all happening Now

OK, I was suppose to write the rest of it "tomorrow" and it's now been a week, or so.... my bad. But as it often happens with these things, when i get a bright idea it's like fireworks - goes up, makes a big bang and then fades away, and I can't possibly describe it in detail. So, when "tomorrow" came i was thinking to myself..."what was that?"

Let's see if i can recapture and relate the fireworks....

Last thing that happened was that we watched "Mr. Present" and "Mr. Responsible" about to battle out the contradiction between being present in the moment and paying the bills, raising kids, planning for the future.

What contradiction? There's no contradiction!!!

At least - it doesn't have to be one. I will explain.

It is only an apparent contradiction. It appears that if you are present in the moment, you shouldn't/couldn't be planning for the future because then you are in the future and not in the present moment. Well, almost.

If planning comes, than planning is in the moment. You see. The planning happens in the Now. There's nothing wrong with that. You are observing planning and just planning. The problem arise when you mentally transport your self to the future and start worrying about the "what if" this and "what if" that, or building sand castles you hope to live in.

When expectations arise and you become attached to them - that's when you are really in trouble. There's nothing wrong with expecting that your children will love you when they grow up and be outstanding citizens making you proud. But, if you get too attached to the idea as if there is no other possibility, you may set your self up for disappointment. If you don't believe me, just ask my mother. She though that her daughter's love and care was a given and blood relationship is all that was necessary for that condition to be fulfilled. She still can't figure out why her daughter is not acting as expected.... well, i wasn't there for the last 20 years to even know what is expected and she wasn't there for the time before to lay the foundations for it either. On the other hand, my brother turned out to be a drug addict (in recovery now for many years). I am sure that's not what she was envisioning for the future when she first decided to get hitched to my father. Not even when she found herself a widower at 32.  She was going for a nice house, love, security....or whatever she was doing for. I suppose she's the only one that can answer that.

Whether it is in relationship to a job, a loved one, a vacation plan... whenever you get your self too transported into the future and start tasting the expected outcomes you are fantasizing about, be ware - it may or may not happen and often when it happens it isn't nearly as spectacular, pleasant, or even scary, uncomfortable and horrible as you may have expected. Meanwhile, since you have transported your self in the future you are missing out on important arisings in the present moment around you that constitute the process of "living and being." To plan is fine. Even some expecting is in "if you touch a hot stove, you are likely to get burned." (this one is called learning) Or, as in "rain is expected - i better pack the umbrella." (This one is call, preparation.) Or as in "If i save some money today, some day i may be more comfortable and won't have to work as much." (This one is called Being Self Reliant.) Or, "if i pay my mortgage on time and regularly, the bank won't take the house away." (This one is called paying the bills) That's not to say that mother nature won't take your house away - don't get attached to the house. It's just a place where you are living now. Or that you may or may not live to enjoy your savings, or your saving may or may not be worth anything later - time will tell, just don't get attached to your ideas on how you are going to be spending your savings.

As it is said in the Gita - Action is better than inaction, but be not attached to the fruits of your actions. Krishna advises Arjuna that one should act from a place of non-attachment only because one is simply participating in the cosmic game fulfilling his/her individual purpose for the benefit of the whole. If one acts from a place of expectations and self benefit - those would be considered "karma producing" actions. Wise are those who are the same in success and failure, in pleasure and in pain. As they are rooted in the true self they are not diluted and affected by circumstances.

That's great wisdom, but one only feels it when one is fully present in the moment. Intuiting, acting as the moment requires. If the moment requires planning, than plan. If the moment requires listening to your kid's story for the 10th time, than do it like you've never heard it before. If the moment requires, dropping everything you are doing and helping a neighbor, than do it. Whatever the moment reacquires, just do it. But you only know what that is if you are present in the moment as the moment.

Therefore there is no contradiction. 

Warning: The ego is clever and tricky. How do you know that what you are feeling as necessary action comes from the moment itself as intuited by your authentic self , rather than a rationalization from the egoic self looking for a particular outcome, or acting out of fear, insecurity, hope, or something else? Hehehe.

May be next time....



Jeff said...

I am now EXPECTING you to explain how we can differentiate between necessary action versus egoic action. It's so easy to be tricked by the mind - to think one's actions are selfless. I am probably driven 99% by my ego, but I have no idea, because my ego controls my mind and blinds me to what's genuine or not. So, how do I free myself from this self 'I' brainwashing, so that I can at least be aware of when my action is in the moment and when it's not?

Anonymous said...

Jeff sums up what I too would like answered or explained how one knows difference.

Anonymous said... interesting...thank you Valentia for your thoughts....I too am looking to the "future" to read your next blog...Patti