The usual article about yoga tends to start by defining what
yoga is. The usual definition of yoga is a dry intellectual explanation that
goes something like this: “Yoga is the cessation of the fluctuations of the
mind,” or “Yoga comes from the Sanskrit word to yoke, which means…” and usually a description of what gets yoked
follows. Sometimes it sounds like this: “Yoga is a physical, mental, and spiritual
discipline originating in ancient India and found in Hinduism, Buddhism,
Jainism and ...”
There is this misperception that yoga is a practice of physical movements peppered with a mixed seasoning of new age ideas
and ancient wisdom. It is supposed to be your highway to health and a fountain
of youth, cheaper and more fun than constant visits to the doctor or your cosmetic surgeon.
For a lot of people that is exactly what yoga is. Generally
whatever your expectations are from the practice, that’s what you are going to
find in it and get from it. If you are coming to the practice for great abs and
butt, you will be the person seeking ever more challenging workouts and you
will be the person pushing the limits of your body in a yoga class until you
are sweating profusely, exhausted and “feel the burn.” If you are the kind of
person looking for connection, you will find yourself in classes where other
students like to chat and hang out with each other, and find yourself in kirtans (devotional gatherings with music and chanting). If you are the kind of person who’s
looking for transformation, you will have a giant library of yoga books, attend workshops, and notice how every yoga class you take makes you feel – physically,
mentally and emotionally.
That’s why each one of us have a different definition
of what yoga is. If you sit and think for a moment what yoga is for you, you
will find your own definition, and if you stick with the practice
long enough, you may find that your definition is changing. Hopefully, if you
are in the yoga abs and butt category, you will indeed change your definition
over time, or else, you will be missing out on most of the practice.
My first experience with yoga, even before I knew what yoga
was, or that it even existed, was when I was ten years old and sitting under a
blackberry bush being quiet so I can see the Universe "out there" reflected in
me, "in here." I was having a mystical experience without knowing it. This goes to
show you that mystical experiences are available to anyone regardless of
training, age, gender, affiliation, or location. Children like me, who were
pretty much left to figure things out on their own and before their heads got
full with experiences, impressions, and definitions (samskaras), and who didn’t
have to struggle to physically survive, are probably more open and likely to
stumble upon something profound than adults who are already molded into a
worldview, stuck in life's responsibilities, and generally more skeptical. I
don’t think, I am special. It took me years to realize I was having a mystical
experience and I was only able to appreciate it when I grew up enough to learn
a few things, get a few definitions, and realize that I have built a few walls
of my own.
Later in my teens, I acquired my fist misunderstanding of
yoga to be a strange undertaking of a few people who live in India and sleep on
beds of nails, walk around naked, try to hold their breath for too long ,and
show off contortionist skills to amazed bystanders. I have no idea where that
came from! Perhaps I saw it on Bulgarian TV. My grandmother, years later, when she
found out that I was doing yoga, puzzled and openly disappointed asked my
mother “Why would Valentina want to do this? What is the future of someone sleeping
on a bed of nails?” My own mother, when she found out that I had become
a yoga teacher lamented: “You spent all this time and sacrificed so much to
get a real education (referring to my economics degree)! Why would you want to
throw it all away?”
Over the years, my definition of yoga has changed
dramatically. I have come to realize that my child mystical experience has more
to do with who I have become than what my family tried to imprint on me, or
what I planned on becoming. It left me
with an insatiable yarning to find meaning beyond what meets the eye. It stuck
inside and made me evaluate my
undertakings as “sukha” or “dukha” (wholesome/happy vs unfitting/suffering). Sometimes
willing, sometimes kicking and screaming, I managed to follow the instinct
created by that mystical experience into a journey of self-discovery which has
paid off with experiential understanding of human nature and the nature of
reality. This, in turn, has brought about tenderness, appreciation, and
compassion in someone like me who’s not that tender, appreciative, and
compassionate to begin with. It's made me a Self-reliant optimist, even in times of funk and hardship.
My definition of yoga is: “A personal practice of
transformation that tames the mind and reveals its limitless creative
potential, purifies and shapes the body into the most amazing instrument of
action through with creativity can manifest, and opens the heart to universal
connectedness that humbles, challenges, and further transforms anyone willing
to withstand it.”
Yes, I love me a challenging physical practice and always look
forward to one. But my definition of yoga expands beyond that and infuses that
with meaning beyond shape and form. I find my asana practice to be one of the
best opportunities to practice mindfulness of my psychological tenancies. I
notice the impulses of the ego to push the limits, the tenderness of the heart
reminding me to listen deeply into the body, the passing of life and vitality
which brings sadness and utmost gratitude for that which is still present now,
the emotional reactions to the thoughts that arise, the reactivity and at the
same time the vastness of speciousness and deep silence within which everything
is born, takes shape and returns to. An asana practice for me is one of the
best places to experience the multidimensionality of humanness because it is a
safe container for vulnerability.
Ultimately, our intentions determine our actions and the
outcomes of these actions end up serving our intentions, even
though the outcome may be something we didn't expect or plan for. My
intention has been to grow, explore, and fulfill the potential within me. I’ve
been many places I didn't expect to find myself and each and
every place, person, situation, and event had something to show me about me. That’s karma, the law of causality, and interconnectedness of events. One is
liberated by solving the riddles karma delivers your way and transcending the samskaras, the unconscious mental habits and conditioning that lay at the bottom of every karmic occurrence.
Yes, it’s an
ongoing process, because we make more karma as we are going along – sometimes
out of ignorance, other times because we can’t see the connections between
things. Sometimes, we make decisions out of ego which is unable to let go of its usual way of
seeing and doing things just yet. Other
times, our attachments and aversions run so deep we don’t know they are there.
Sometimes, it’s just dumb luck and reactivity towards it from deeply ingrained conditioning… Basically, it’s safe to assume that for as
long as we are on this planet and have a body, we all are going to have plenty
to do in the karma department.
Beliefs usually are at the basis of our intentions. We
intend for something we believe we want, deserve or need, something that we
consider good. Something we believe is worth our
time and effort. We don’t set intentions to suffer unreasonably, to be
dishonest whenever possible, to cause others to suffer, and to feel miserable
pretty much all the time. But sometimes
we actually believe that we don’t deserve love, connection, and prosperity. We
actually believe we are incompetent and unable to get from where we are to
where we intend to be. If intention and beliefs misalign we find trouble
because we find no fulfillment and prove to ourselves that “this stuff just
doesn’t work. “ By examining our beliefs
we learn massive amounts about ourselves. We find all our samskaras. As we unearth them, than we have an
opportunity to transform them, thus transforming our beliefs and setting
intentions that match our deepest convictions, our highest visions, and our most
sincere aspirations.
So, what is your intention for your yoga? Does your yoga
serve your intentions and how? Are these questions you even think about? There
are no wrong answers, only sincere answers and pretend answers. If your answers
are sincere, your practice will be a good start on the
endless road of transformation. If your answers are wishful thinking, or
parroting things you’ve heard or read somewhere, than your practice will give you
something just for practicing – like numerous health benefits that are
attributed to yoga, but those will be temporary, limited, and not that
different from other forms of exercise, because that’s all you are doing –
exercising. Yes, exercising is better
than not exercising, but there are a lot of unhappy people who are exercising
every day. There are a lot of people with broken relationships, who are exercising every day. There are a lot of mean and selfish people, who are exercising every days.
If you want to know if your yoga is “working” take a look at
your relationships. What is your relationship with yourself, with your partner,
or children, or co-workers….all of your relationships? If you find
things you can improve upon, go back to the mat, to the books, to meditation,
and contemplation. The Greek Olympics used to have a slogan, or perhaps they
still do… “Healthy mind, healthy body, healthy spirit.” That’s not too far from
what Yoga is all about, is it?
Heal your mind, transform your body, open your heart. A mind that sees clearly and is free of
obstructions envisions the future. A body that’s healthy, energized and agile
creates the future. A heart that’s open and wise, shares the future with all
others.
Ultimately, yoga is really not about you, is it? But without
you it won’t happen.
Take a class or one of my workshops, and you will see what I mean. If you are on journey and need guidance and support, consider my coaching services. It's always a pleasure and an honor to help people along their unique paths. info@thisfulfillinglife.com / www.ThisFulfillingLife.com
