When you look back at your life, what do you see? Do you see
the crossroads? Do you see the missed turns, the lucky breaks, the shady spots
and the faces of those that have made an impact? Do you see the moments of
“aha,” the moments of “oh, shit,” the moments of “I don’t have a clue,” the
moments of “OMG,” pure joy, pure love, pure fear, pure being? Can you lay your
head down today and say that you have lived an authentic life? One that at
every step of the way represented you at that very step of the way, 100%...If
not, what are you waiting for? When do you start living your trueness? When do
you start strutting your goodness around for everyone to see?
Each leaf that falls to the ground does so in its full glory
of color, splendor and complete fulfillment. It goes out in a blaze of orange,
red, yellow glory like no other leaf before it and falls gently to the earth,
resting peacefully, contently, delicately under its tree. Soon the branches
will be necked and quiet in the cold of winter with the potential for a renewal
deep in the roots, waiting for the sun to welcome it back in the spring. Every
tree loses its crown without anxiety. Every tree grows beautifully a new set of
leafs in the spring. Every leaf is its own creation. Every creation is
completely unique. Every uniqueness transforms in the fall and lets go of its
security on the tree branch to meet the earth in an elegant fall. It deposits
it’s beingness to become food for the roots out of which it was created, giving
back, without anguish, that which it had received in order to come to
existence.
Each person lives a unique life, but each person holds on to
memories, holds on to security, to safety and fears to let go. Fears a fall.
Some day we all have to fall. Sometimes we fall more than
ones in a life time. Ultimately, the human life ends less gloriously and less
colorfully than the life of a single maple leaf. When that moment comes and you
look back all you will see is not a labyrinth of choices and possibilities but
a single path you’ve walked, curving and twisting. Will you die with a smile
saying – this life was an awesome experience? Will you get there full? Full as in there isn’t anything more that can
be added to become any happier, any fuller, any better. That kind of full. The
yogic word is “Purna.”
To get there at the moment of your death, you have to live
that way every day. Every night you go to bed and recount the steps of your
day, you should feel that fullness, contentment that comes from knowing that
you did what you are here to do. It has nothing to do with the circumstances of
your life. It has nothing to do with the events of your life. It has to do with
living from your deepest heart, authentically and mindfully.
You will never have all the answers. You will never be able
to see what happens in the future and how your decisions in this moment will
ripple out to tomorrow, to others and back at you. You may guess, anticipate,
hope but ultimately you have to resolve yourself to not knowing and to being
totally comfortable with that. When you are totally comfortable with not
knowing than you can allow life to express itself through you and make your
decisions based on what is the best course of action NOW.
To know what the best choice is NOW, you have to know
yourself intimately. You also, have to be willing to behold the reality of
whatever is going on in your life and call it what it is. If you are not willing
to accept the way things are, because this is how they are, than you are
eliminating the possibility to move forward from right understanding into right
action toward the right outcome – whatever this outcome may be, even if it is
different than what you are planning for.
If you are mistaking complacency for contentment, then you
have a problem. It’s like mistaking numbness for comfort. It’s like mistaking
an ice cube for an ice cream. They are both cold, but one actually has flavor
and the other does not. Contentment has flavor. It’s the intensity of living –
magical, curious, vivacious, joyful, open, rich, full body contact, kind of living. Complacency is just dullness and
flavorlessness.
If you are conflicted about something, it is because there’s
friction between the way you live your life and the way you could be living
your life. Only living from you trueness produces frictionless living.
Making mistakes is OK. You can always correct them. Waking
up and realizing that you are different person is also OK. Now live up to that
realization even if you have to re-arrange the furniture in the living room of
your life, haul off a few pieces that no longer serve a good purpose. Nothing
should be left just sitting there because it was there 10 years ago, or because
you simply don’t know what to do with it. Everything in your life should glow
with meaning, richness and purpose. Everything in your life should feed your
soul with inspiration and creativity. Even when things are “bad.”
Nothing should be left unturned, unchecked, undigested. In
the process, if you discover that things are not the way they used to be,
that’s fine. It means you are paying attention. Now what do you do? Do you try
to make things into what they used to be, knowing that it’s impossible? Do you
pretend that they are the way they used to be? Do you make excuses and continue
to allow things to be without responding to the call of transformation?
You have a responsibility towards life and towards yourself,
to rearrange, change, move away, or whatever you need to do to keep things in
alignment with your purpose.
What’s your purpose?….It is the same thing for every human.
It is simply to be yourself. You are Life! You have to express potential. You
have to express creativity. You have to express you self.
We start by being a blank slate on which living writes its
story in a way of experiences, impressions and learning. We, then, proceed to
mistaking this story line for who we are. This leads to continuing along the
same lines and building more experiences, memories and solidifying even deeper this
identification with the story line.
Being yourself is the easiest and the hardest trip you will
ever undertake. Naturally, most people get disoriented among expectations,
cultural values, commercials, available options, desires and fears. Disoriented
to a point of tuning everything out and going back to what one always does.
Most people chose to turn the other way instead of turning in and digging deep,
asking questions that may, or may not, lead to answers one wants, or does not
want to hear. Getting out of the groove takes work. It’s scary for most people
to let go of the tree branch they’ve been hanging on all this time and take the
plunge towards transformation. They mistakenly fear “the end of what is” with
simply “the end” when in reality “the end of what is” may mean a “transformation
into betterness, richness, awesomeness.” Transformation is scary.
Transformation is resisted. Transformation may cause conflict with others who
are expecting you to be what they think they need, selfishly…. Transformation
may mean losing a few things you think you care about, re-defining
relationships, boundaries, re-drawing the blue prints, letting go of a few
suitcases of stuff you carry around for no particular reason, discovering
something about yourself that needs your attention, learning to shine, bravely
opening to the unknown… Transformation leads to contentment. Otherwise, there’s
just complacency.
As the seasons change, so can we. We all spring into
existence in one way, express it, and eventually transform into something
different whether we like it or not. If we make this process a mindful,
conscious process, than we fertilize this future metamorphosis with the death
of the previous. If we are not willing to accept that, then we get stuck.
Unhappy. If we are willing to transcend and include all previous experiences,
and forms of being, without guilt, conflict or attachment, than we grow and
refine our personality, our existence, and fulfill our potential, for that
moment and into the next, all the way to the end of a life time as we know it,
and for the benefit of all beings…..
Each one of us not only lives to transcend our individual
karma, but in the process, delivers karma to all we come in contact with. Now that’s
really big. It means that if you are not growing, learning, fulfilling your
potential, if you are not being yourself, NOT only are you NOT transcending
your own karma, but you are robbing others of the opportunity to transcend
theirs by not “delivering” those opportunities to them, the opportunities that
become available due to your own transformation. Nothing is an isolated event
in a world of interconnectedness. The realizations that you have today, which
lead you to take action NOW, produce a reaction of some sort in those around
you, which then affords them the opportunity to look within themselves, should
they chose to, and can lead them to be the best they can be, and in the process
making a difference in the lives of those around them…and so on, and so forth.
Be well. Be full. Be happy. Really happy.
Love & Light.
